Burnt Grilled Cheese

Some of you may have seen my Facebook post the other day involving a burnt grilled cheese sandwich. If you didn't, this post is for you. But if you did, please continue reading. I'm going to share more of my thoughts about that particular moment. 

Yesterday, I was making lunch for the kiddos. We had decided on grilled cheese sandwiches. So, I got to work. I had made one for Lila, which actually turned into Micah's sandwich since Lila has pretty regularly fallen asleep before we make it to lunch time. Anyway, back it up a little. A week or so ago, I got a call from my sister-in-law and she asked me if I would sing "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion for the video they are playing in her upcoming wedding. I agreed and have been listening to it quite a bit lately to familiarize myself with it (even more than I already am, because let's be honest...who doesn't have "Because You Loved Me" on their "Guilty Pleasures" list!). So, back to yesterday. I'm listening to the song while making lunch and in comes Micah. He says to me, "Mommy, I wike dis song! Mommy? Will you dance wif me?" Uh...duh! Did you really have to ask? Of course! He sweetly grabbed my hands and just shifted his weight back and forth. He'd occasionally spin. I would get on my knees and he would hop on my lap and just wrap his little arms around my neck and we'd sway side to side. It was the sweetest moment. When the song was over, he just looked at me with those big blue eyes and said, "Mommy, wanna sing dat song again? I wike you singin' dat song!" Well, I, of course, obliged. By the third time through, he was trying to sing along with me. I will never forget the look in his eyes when I knelt down and sang the line, "I was blessed because I was loved by you." Pretty sure I choked up every time. It is definitely in my Top 5 Favorite Mommy Moments so far...and three of those moments were when the kids were each born! I will cherish that moment forever. But can you picture it? As we were dancing, I was thinking, "Man! I really wish there was a photographer that just followed me around to catch these moments. The moments that are so special. The moments that I'm in and can't capture in a photo myself. If this moment was in a movie, I'm pretty sure this is what it would look like, so this is how I will forever remember it...

So we shared this moment for probably 10-12 minutes or so. When he had decided that 3 times was enough, I was brought back to reality and I realized that while I was making this amazing memory with my sweet little boy...the grilled cheese was burning. Yup...it was black...

 But you know what? I didn't care. It was the best burnt grilled cheese sandwich I've ever had!

So that's my sweet story. But as I have thought back on that memory over the past 36 hours or so, I have asked myself, "How many times have I missed these 'burnt grilled cheese moments'?" How many times have I just dismissed one of Micah's requests that could have turned into another precious memory like this one? You've heard it said a million times..."Cherish the time you have with them, because they grow up so fast." I never understood this until I had kids. I always thought, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. They grow up fast...time is so short...blah blah blah!" But it is so true! I'm pretty sure it was just yesterday that I was holding Micah for the first time, and now he is 3-1/2! How does that happen in just one day? How did he get so big, so fast? I want to treasure every moment I have with him. Sure, he will live with me until he's 18 and goes off to college, but what about those years between now and then that he wants nothing to do with me? When he won't let me make sweet memories like this one? What then? Ahhh! I don't even want to think about it! I just want time to slow down so I can keep him in this phase of life where he thinks I am the most amazing person ever for a little bit longer; this phase where he thinks he is the only one who can love me, and I am the only one who can love him; this phase where I am the only one who can help him put his shoes on; where he wants me to take him to bed and read to him and sing songs to him. It is moments like this that make all those times that I just want to lock myself in a closet just to get away from all of the whining and nagging and the "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mom! Mom! Mom!" worth it!

Back to the song..."Because You Loved Me". Doron's sister wants it played at her wedding. It's a love song. Everyone knows that. I don't know who Celine Dion was thinking about when she sang this song, but I did a little research (if Wikipedia counts as "research") and I found that the songwriter, Diane Warren, wrote this song as a tribute to her father, which just confirms all of my feelings. I know it is typically looked at as a song for two people who are in love, but when you really listen to the words, it just becomes obvious that this song was written from a child to his or her parent. Check it out...'

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

As I read through those lyrics, I am taken back to moments that my mom and dad did these exact things for me. My parents stood by me in everything I did. They were always there to support me and to make my dreams come true. They got me through my awkward, hormonal, emotional years and they are still guiding me through life and this crazy thing called "parenthood". I wouldn't be the mom or wife that I am today without them. I have never once...NEVER ONCE... doubted whether my parents loved me or not. I know without a shadow of a doubt that they do. They would do anything for me. If I needed them, they would be here at the drop of a hat. My absolute favorite line of this song is one that I quoted earlier, "I was blessed because I was loved by you." I truly feel this way. My life has been so blessed by the love of my parents. I have memories that will last a lifetime. And that is my prayer for my kids. That they will remember that I took the time to dance with them, to sing crazy songs with them, to build toilet paper towers with them, to read just one more story to them, or to simply spend 2 more minutes snuggling with them before they drift off to sleep.

...and that it didn't matter to me that the grilled cheese was burning. 

So that is my prayer for you all as well; that you will take the time to love your kids and make these special memories with them. Let dinner burn. They won't remember that the lasagna was overdone, or that the kitchen sink was full of dishes, or that the water boiled over on the stove (yet again!). All they will remember are the precious memories you gave them and they will realize that all we need is hugs and kisses and burnt grilled cheese!